Wednesday, February 3, 2016

The Blank Page

I've been blogging for over a year now, and I'll admit- it's still intimidating.

I generally have no idea what to post about. I don't know what you want to read. Honestly, I don't even know what to post about right now, I'm kinda just making it up as I go, at this point.

Even when I do have an idea of what to write about, I'm not sure if I should write it. Sometimes I feel like I'm writing the same things over and over again. I thought about reviewing Ella Enchanted, but my last two posts were about fairy tales, and I was afraid you'd get tired of it. I thought about asking, once more, what you all out there would like to hear from me, but I haven't gotten an answer yet, so I'm guessing you're tired of that too.

Opening up a new post, seeing that blank page sitting in front of me, it's scary at times. It's strange to write knowing (hoping) someone will read it. It's strange to think that someone is probably forming an opinion of me as they read this. It's strange to think of comparing myself to bloggers who are much better than I am.

Maybe you all out there in cyberspace will understand this. It's the blank piece of paper when you start to take notes. The start of NaNoWriMo. The blank page when you begin writing a research paper. The empty journal you got from a relative for this holiday or that.

But I don't think you have to be writers to understand. Because a blank page isn't always literal. Sometimes it's the first day of a new school year. Or, better yet, the first day at a new school. Or, if you're past that, the first day at a new job. Maybe it's a first date. Maybe it's the first post on a new social media account.

Or maybe it's not a first. After all, each new blog post isn't my first. Maybe a blank page is just new. A new class. A new relationship of some kind. A new year, new month, new week. Even just a new day.

Even if it's not a chance to start over, entirely, it may be a chance to do something different. A chance to say something interesting. A chance to be someone you want to be.

And aren't we all at least a little bit afraid of that? Of a bad first impression? Of a bad impression in general, really? Or even just the sense of unknown something new brings?

For example, I don't know if this is your first time visiting my blog. I don't know if you hate this post or find it dull or boring or stupid. I don't know if you'll ever come back again after reading this, or any of my other posts. I can hope you don't hate me, but the only other thing I can do is just keep filling up the blank pages. That's all any of us can do.

"This is perhaps the greatest risk any of us will ever take: to be seen as we truly are." Cinderella, 2015

2 comments:

  1. For what it's worth, I read each one of your post and enjoy them! I don't find them boring, but rather quite interesting on what you come up with each time. While I normally don't post a comment (maybe I should so that you know I'm reading), I do want you to know you're being read and enjoyed! Keep up the good work!!!

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  2. I also read all your posts! I am bad about blog-stalking and not commenting. Blog comments are always nice and only take a few seconds - so I am going to make a new goal to comment on the blogs I follow! :) I love your posts - they are always so insightful!

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