Okay, I’ll admit it: I. HATE. CHANGE. I hate having to pick something up that I am so familiar, so comfortable with, and toss it in the trash for something new. When I was little, I couldn’t give away ANYTHING I owned because it was (apparently) like ripping piece of myself off and giving it to a stranger I didn’t know. The biggest change I had to ever deal with was moving from my childhood home right outside of Nashville, Tennessee & move to Huntsville, Alabama for my dad’s new job. I had to leave my best friend & my life behind pretty much…all because of a JOB?!
I cried…a LOT. I screamed & I cried & I refused to leave. I locked myself in a swingset treehouse one day and sobbed for 20 minutes just because I was so upset I had to leave. When I moved down to Alabama, I had no friends. I slept with every single one of my stuffed animals for the first month of living here because even though I felt left out and alone in this new world I was in, I didn’t want them to feel left out as well. I was miserable. For the first year & a half that we lived in Alabama, I made friends, but I wasn’t really HAPPY. Every time we pulled into our neighborhood after being away on a trip, my parents and sister would say that they were “happy to be home”, but I refused to call it my home. This wasn’t my home; my home was in Tennessee, NOT this alienated universe that only cared about football & sports & rocket science.
Eventually though, I started to settle in. We finally found a church home & I started making friends there, as well as at school. I met my best friend at church (he’s actually the one who helped me come up with this blog topic. Thanks, B!) & I became involved in my youth group. Once I got to high school two years ago, I got heavily involved in my choir…and I found my group of people, where I belonged. Through my friends in youth group & my experiences in choir, I eventually found myself. My weird, musically OBSESSED, quirky self who HATES needles & heights & spiders, but LOVES Disney & country music & performing. I discovered who I wanted to be as a person & what I wanted to do with my life: I wanted to be a person who helps others.
Okay okay, I know it sounds really cliché. But really! My songwriting helps me cope with things I’m dealing with. I perform those songs & before you know it, someone is telling me they can relate to it, whether it be a friend or a colleague. I want to be a country music performer when I grow up. It’s a long-shot, I know, but I think I can make it. But, I also want to work at Disney World. I want to be the one behind the “mask” so to say, putting that same smile that I had at Disney World as a child onto other kids’ faces; I want to be the one who makes THEIR trips, just like so many cast members make mine.
The whole point of this post is to say this: God will throw trials at you, and you WILL not like them all the time. But those trials get you to somewhere SO much better! Trust me. If I had never moved down to Alabama, I wouldn’t have found my love for country music. I wouldn’t have met my best friend. I wouldn’t have found what I wanted to do for a living. So, just trust those trials.
“CHANGE IS GOOD.” -RAFIKI, “THE LION KING”
~Grace
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