Thursday, March 24, 2016

What to Do When Dreams Don't Come True

So I'm pretty sure we've all had that experience of getting our hopes up for something, only to be let down when it doesn't work right or live up to what we imagined. Maybe it's thinking a new job will fix everything, or getting out of high school and into college, or getting out of college and into your career.

Honestly, it could even be as simple as finding some perfect piece of clothing, ordering it online, and then it doesn't fit when it comes in. 

In my case, it's been prom. Namely, my prom dress. I was having a dress custom made, and it was going to be perfect. It was just the style I wanted, and it would fit me perfectly, and the color was exactly what I imagined. I loved it. I felt like a princess in it, and so that's how I imagined prom. 

I really built the whole thing up in my mind as being the perfect ball at the end of a Cinderella story. I was going to wear my blue ball gown and my perfectly matching shoes and I was going to match so well with my date. We would take cute Cinderella pictures, and I really would be a princess, if only for the one night, and the whole thing would just be perfect

But with less than two weeks to prom, there was a complication with the dress. So, in a last minute back up plan, we ended up buying a dress, this one pink and definitely not a ballgown. Although I liked the dress we bought, it wasn't my blue Cinderella dress, and I was really still holding onto the hope that we could get it fixed in time. 

Hearing the seamstress say "no time" as she looked at my dress kinda felt a little bit like that moment when the stepmother rips the first piece off Cinderella's dress. I could just feel all my dreams of having that Cinderella moment just crumble. I had put so much into this fantasy in my head that I just couldn't cope with the fact of it not happening. 

And for some strange reason, no fairy godmother showed up to wave a wand and say "bibbidi bobbidi boo" and make all my dreams come true again. Who knows why that didn't happen.

I think I've finally adjusted to the idea of wearing pink instead of blue (what a Cinderella story in reverse, right?), and getting my blue dress fixed and saving it for next year. But since life unfortunately isn't a Disney movie and every wish you make doesn't come true, I think I've come up with a few tips that might make it easier when things like this happen.

  1.  Watch cute animal videos to cheer yourself up. No, just kidding on that one, but doing something else you enjoy isn't a bad idea. 
  2. Wait. I know I'll get to wear my blue dress next year, for my senior prom, and it'll probably be all the more special because I waited for it. Sometimes we just don't get what we want right away, and that's okay. Delayed gratification, and all that.
  3. Change your mental ideal. This thinner pink dress may not be my blue ballgown, but at least I can say it's fitting to wear a pink dress first, if I really want to be like Cinderella. Not to mention the dress has a bit of Downton Abbey style to it, and I love Downton Abbey, so that's always an idea as well. Looking at things from a new perspective can change how you feel about it.
  4. Don't put so much hope in things that won't last. Let's face it, life is going to let us down sometimes. I know when it all boils down to it, this is a dress I'll wear maybe once, and it's not like it's a wedding dress. Will I remember my dress in 50 years? Will I still be upset about it? Maybe, but I honestly doubt it. My time would be better spent worrying about things that will still matter. 
I wrote these mostly thinking about my dress, but they can apply to a lot of other things as well. Have you had a similar experience? What did you do to get through it? Let me know in comments!

1 comment:

  1. I must say, your response to this situation has been and continues to be more mature than the way the vast majority of adults would have handled it! I know it's been better than the way I would have handled equally large let-downs. Many (most) people could really learn a few things from this post! Well done!!!